


In the Cold of Winter

by onesillygoose



Series: Our Past and Future [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Steve Rogers, Captain America: The First Avenger, Character Death, Feelings, First Time, M/M, Marvel Universe, Stucky - Freeform, Top Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 17:34:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9913544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onesillygoose/pseuds/onesillygoose
Summary: Steve and Bucky are finally together again after Bucky is rescued. They're offered a second chance and the pair are done keeping things from each other. They want to make things right.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took me a little while. Not sure when the next one will be out. I still need to figure where in Civil War it's picking up, so just keep an eye out.
> 
> You've all seen the movie. This ends with Bucky's death. Just a quick warning: I am very, very rarely emotional while writing, but this made me tear up writing it. It's sad. I hope you still enjoy it, though.

Bucky had thought he was dead. He really had. And then in walks some big blond dope like some hotshot and is actually here to try to rescue him. Then he thinks he’s dreaming, because how could anyone know he’s here? Who in their right mind would go through all this trouble just to save him? He's just some kid, a soldier, a nobody.

When he can focus, he hears the guying saying his name is Steve. And then he realizes the guy is saying he _is_ Steve. And now Bucky knows he must be dead. This guy kind of looks like Steve, if Steve were a foot taller and had gained about a hundred and twenty pounds. But he knows he’ll never see Steve again. His best pal will now be getting a letter any day now telling him that Bucky was captured and killed.

No. He’s dead and this is heaven and any minute he’ll be reunited with his small, beautiful Steve and he can go in peace.

But then the guy is bending over him and ripping off Bucky’s restraints and Bucky gets a real good look at him. It _is_ Steve. Maybe not his Steve, the little guy he left behind so that he could march into a warzone to play hero, but he’d know those sky blue eyes anywhere, and this guy sure as hell is Steve.

“Steve.” He croaks out. Suddenly so happy that his whole body feels as though it’s turned to jelly.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Steve gets him out. Gets him and a boat load of other guys out safely and back to camp. There’s a girl there to welcome Steve, cheerful and smiling. They talk for a brief few seconds as Bucky stares at Steve, just happy to have this chance to be near Steve again. And then Bucky notices something odd. They way they’re talking. It’s almost like they’re flirting. But that just can’t be right. It just can’t be. But Steve’s eyes tell a somewhat different story. And maybe Bucky deserves this after what he’d done to Steve, but fuck, it hurts worse than Bucky ever thought it would.

He’s quickly debriefed, Steve by his side the whole time, while the rest of the captives wait impatiently and exhausted just outside the tent for their own debriefing, and then they’re sending him off to the medical barracks. Steve wants to remain by his side, but the nurse refuses him.

He got out with nothing more than a few scrapes and bruises. And whatever the short guy in the glasses injected him with doesn’t seem to have any effect on him that the nurse can find. She releases him after filling out a chart and tells him he should be just fine.

He goes to the communal showers. They tell him to take as much time as he’d like, and he does. He doesn’t even know how long he was held captive. He’s covered in dirt and sweat and blood and god only knows what else. He can't shake the memories, but he'll make damn sure he can physically wash the experience away.

He heads back to his barracks in the fresh clothes that some guy named Hodge brought for him. A soft shirt and more military trousers. He ducks into his old tent to find most of the Commandos are inside as well and looking as if they just might survive this whole ordeal.

“What’re you doin’ in here, Barnes?” Morita asks.

“I sleep in here. This was our barracks. We’re a team, remember?”

Morita gives him a mischievous smile.

“You don’t sleep in here anymore. Cap pulled some strings. You’ll be bedding down with him from now on.”

“But we’re a team.” Bucky states again like he’s trying to make a point of something that doesn’t actually have a point at all.

“Don’t sweat it, man. We’ll still be a team. But that kid came clear across the world just to save your ass. I think you owe it to him. He missed you and you’ll never find another friend like that as long as you live. Hell, I’m not sure anyone on earth will. That’s a one of a kind guy you got there, Barnes. Ain’t another one like ‘im,” Jones says. 

“You guys sure you don’t mind?” It feels weird. Bucky isn’t so much skeptical as he is disbelieving and grateful. He doesn’t think they really know anything about him and Steve, but he’s pretty sure that even if they did, they sure as hell wouldn’t say anything now.

“We’re sure! Now, get outta here! You owe that kid a huge thank you. He’s something else. Kid’s a real hero, Barnes. You shouldn’t keep him waiting.” Dugan pipes up.

Bucky gives them a half- hearted mock salute and makes his way across camp. Steve’s tent is a good distance from everyone else’s and it makes Bucky’s blood boil. He knows the Colonel didn’t set Steve up with the arrangement as a sign of respect, but as a sign of annoyance that he wants Steve out of the way. Now half of the battalion owes their life to Steve and they still have him isolated like he’s some kind of diseased animal. He wants to hit someone.

He ducks inside and finds that Steve’s got plenty of space since it’s just him. And Bucky doesn’t know if there were two cots before, but there are now. They’re on opposite sides of the tent, though, and that just doesn’t sit right with Bucky. It’s risky, but he pushes the cots together, a poor imitation of their bed back home in Brooklyn. He’s just finished moving them and is wiping his forehead when he hears footsteps rapidly approaching. The tent flap lifts quickly, and then there’s Steve, clean and freshly showered himself, standing there in all of his patriotic glory. His new appearance isn’t as jarring to Bucky as it should be. Probably because this is how Bucky’s seen him the whole time. Steve may have only come in a five foot four, but his heart and spirit always made him seem so much bigger.

Steve’s still just standing there, staring at him like he didn’t just see him a half hour ago.

“Bucky.” He says softly, like he’s just testing out the name on his lips.

“Everything okay, Stevie?”

Steve drops the tent flap and moves toward Bucky. The sun has started to set, and it’s dark enough now that Bucky can’t really see all that well within the tent without the outside light. The sun will be going down completely soon and it’ll just be the two of them. But he doesn’t need to see. Not with Steve’s arms around him, and so he hugs Steve back like he may never get to again.

“I thought you were dead.” Steve says into his shoulder. It comes out almost the same way it had when he rescued Bucky not even twenty four hours ago; shocked and thankful and a little shaky.

“I’m right here, Steve. Thanks to you. You saved me. And now I’m gonna stay right here. Promise I won’t leave your side again.”

Steve pulls away, his hands on Bucky’s shoulders so he can keep him at arms length. His eyes are watery and his smile is steady.

“Buck, that thing before with me and Peggy… she means a lot to me but it ain’t nothin’.”

“It’s okay, Stevie. You don’t gotta explain anything to me. That’s your business and I ain’t mad or nothin’.” But his heart might shatter a little at thought.

Steve nods, but he still looks like he isn’t satisfied. In fact, he almost looks sad.

“Here, come sit. Geez, you must be exhausted.” Steve ushers Bucky toward the bed and sits beside him.

Being this close to Steve, getting to look into his eyes again, Bucky realizes how much he missed him. Realizes what a fool he was for not confessing everything to Steve before he left. And he knows how dangerous this could be for the both of them, but Steve is just so beautiful.

Bucky cups his jaw, rubbing a thumb across his cheekbones that are as severe as ever.

“Bucky?” Steve’s voice shakes and his eyebrows furrow.

His lips are just as soft as Bucky remembers when he kisses Steve. This kiss evolves, becoming a desperate love letter between the two men. Lips parting to allow tongue, caressing gently. Hands land on Bucky’s waist as he feels the shuddering sigh Steve exhales into his mouth. He pulls away, letting Steve breathe and pressing their foreheads together, both hands now cupping Steve’s face.

“Thought I’d never see you again. Oh, god, Steve, I thought I’d never see your face again. Would never get to tell you how I felt about you. And now you’re here, and I can hold you, and jesus, Steve, I don’t ever wanna let you go again.”

Steve pulls out of his embrace and stares at him with those big eyes of his. A tear has snuck its way down Steve’s face and Bucky can see that he’s just barely holding the rest of them back.

“What’re you sayin’, Buck?”

“Shit, I’m saying I’m in love with you, Steve. I’ve loved you since that night in the apartment and probably long before that. I was just too goddamn stupid to know any better. But I love you so much.”

Steve’s eyes are huge, and he’s staring at Bucky with his sweet little doe eyes, completely and utterly in awe of the admission.

“But… I thought… I thought you never wanted me. That letter you wrote me… you said-“

Bucky stares awkwardly and begrudgingly at the scratchy blanket covering the bed. He’s too ashamed of what he did to look Steve in the eye as he explains the act of cruelty.

“I know, doll. And I’m so sorry about that. I know it hurt you and I’ll never forgive myself for that, but I had to protect you. Had to make sure you would be okay once I wasn’t there. And I wanted you to find a nice dame. Get hitched and even start a family by the time I got back. I never expected your dumb ass to follow me over here.”

Steve gives him a soft smile.

“Couldn’t let you have all the fun without me.” Steve stares at him adoringly, his smile slowly disappearing into something serious and stern. “Buck… you know I forgive you, right? I swear I'm not sore at ya anymore. Ain’t no point in staying mad at yourself. What’s done is done. We’re together again and I love you, too. You know that, don’t you?”

Bucky smiles and swallows down his own tears.

“You do? Even after the way I hurt you?”

“Of course I do! I think I always have. Even before the night when we were necking in the apartment. I don’t think I ever really knew what it meant. But… you’re the only constant in my life. I just thought that was how everyone felt about their best pals. I had no idea that that’s what love feels like.”

The trademark grin that Steve knows and loves makes its way on to Bucky’s face.

“I think you just made me the luckiest fella in the world, Steve Rogers.”

Steve kisses him this time. It’s strange, how strong he is now. How even though he’s twice the size he used to be, he still fits just right when Bucky wraps his arms around him. Steve still moans for him when Bucky slips his tongue beneath his lips and it lights a fire inside him that is slowly starting to consume every nerve ending in Bucky’s body.

Steve pulls away, stripping off his jacket and pulling his shirt over his head as Bucky stares on in shock.

“Steve, we can’t. It’s still light out and there are people everywhere. We’ll get caught.” He says in a harsh tone.

“Don’t care. I’ve missed you so much, Bucky. Please.”

“No, doll. I gotta keep you safe. Don’t want anyone hurting you if they find out about you and me.”

“Can’t hurt me anymore, Buck. _Please_.”

And he sounds so pretty begging that Bucky knows he’s lost this one.

Bucky watches, enraptured, as Steve yanks his clothes off hastily. He’s gorgeous. A wall of solid muscle. Now they both know all too well that this isn’t anything like getting together with a dame because Steve is all man. But there’s not a girl alive who’s got anything on the beauty that is Steve Rogers. He’s all legs and strong angles and pure sin.

Steve looks at Bucky and then down at himself, a visceral blush spreading across his cheeks.

“I know… I know I ain’t the Steve you fell in love with anymore, but I’m still me under here, Buck. I swear to you.”

That completely takes Bucky aback. How could Steve still think he isn’t enough? Especially when he’s always been someone that Bucky can’t live without.

“Steve, it was never just about how you looked. You were beautiful before, you’re beautiful now. You will always be beautiful to me. And I know it’s still you, because I’ve always been able to see that. I’ve always been able to see just how pretty you are on the inside, too. Don’t ever doubt yourself, Steve. You’ve always been more than enough. You’ve always been _too good_ for me, to be honest.”

“No, Buck, don’t say things like that about yourself.”

“It’s true!” Bucky stands and walks around the bed to stand in front of Steve, grabbing his hand and pressing it over his own heart. “It’s always been you, Stevie. Since the moment we met. You gotta know that. You were always above the rest. My one and only. I may not deserve you, but I sure as hell ain’t lettin’ you go.”

“Buck…” Steve’s voice is quiet.

Bucky gives him a cocky grin and a once over and says, “You’re bigger than me now. Guess you’re gonna have to start protecting me, huh, punk?”

And Steve laughs at that. The same as he always laughs at Bucky’s jokes; beautiful and strong and sure.

“Buck?” The smile on Steve’s face is radiant, and the blush still on his cheeks makes him look all the more stunning.

“Yeah, doll.”

“Bucky, can I… can I ask you somethin’?”

Bucky’s hands are right there on his hips, a calm and reassuring heat. Steve is still naked and gorgeous and Bucky’s mind is slowly turning to mush.

“Anything, Steve, anything. You know that.”

Steve ducks his head, looking up at Bucky through his mile long lashes.

“Will you… make love to me, Buck? Please?”

Suddenly Bucky’s knees have turned to jelly, and it’s only Steve’s hands on his biceps that keep him upright.

“Jesus, Stevie. Where’d you learn to talk like that?”

The playful shove Steve gives him is much harder than it used to be, so Bucky is thankful he’s really got his feet planted beneath him now.

“Steve,” it comes out shakier than he meant it to, “You know, I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“You’ve been with plenty of dames before. Can’t really be that much different.”

“Okay, but we don’t even have anything to make it… easier.”

He watches Steve curiously as the larger man lets him go and bends to pick up his trousers, reaching into the pocket and pulling out a container of medical jelly.

“I swiped it from the medical tent before they kicked me out. I’d kinda been hopin’… you know…”

“Well, my word, Steve Rogers. This new special formula they give you suddenly turn you into a thief _and_ a deviant? And here I thought you were a good, wholesome boy.”

Steve’s cheeks go pink again as he sputters around an explanation.

“I’ll give it back! We just needed something! And they didn’t know I took it. They probably don’t even need it. I swear, I’ll return it when we’re done!”

Even with his eyes closed in hysterical laughter, Bucky can feel the way Steve is glaring at him.

“It’s alright, Steve. It was smart thinkin’, doll. But are you sure you wanna do this? Ain’t no goin’ back after we take this step. And we don’t gotta rush things. If you’re not ready then that’s okay. I’ll wait forever for you if I have to.”

“I thought I’d never see you again, Buck. Trust me, I want this. More than anything.”

“You absolutely sure this a good idea? What if someone comes in? I don’t want you gettin’ in trouble ‘cause of me. You already take enough shit from the jackasses around here.”

“I don’t care about any of them, Buck. I just want you.”

Bucky’s fingers twitch with the need to touch Steve’s beautiful naked body.

“I want you, too, baby, but I don’t want you gettin’ hurt by one of these fellas over this.”

Steve gives him a sweet little smile and grabs his hand, pulling Bucky closer again.

“You’d never let that happen, Buck. You always keep me safe.”

Bucky’s mouth nearly waters as he watches Steve lie back on the bed and begin to stroke himself. He has no idea when Steve became _this_ , but he sure as hell ain’t complaining.

Steve is shining and wet in a matter of seconds, and Bucky can’t remember exactly since it was months ago, but he’s pretty sure Steve was never this wet the last time they did this. He has no idea where the urge comes from, but he isn’t stopping himself as he leans over Steve and crawls on his hands and knees until he’s between Steve’s legs. He can smell Steve from half a foot away. Masculine, musky, like clean sweat, and so fucking delectable. His tongue laps at Steve’s dick quickly once before either of them realize he’s doing it.

“Oh, g-god, Buck.” Steve moans.

The taste isn’t what Bucky was expecting. It’s salty and kind of bitter with an unmistakable masculine tang, but he likes it all the same. Maybe because it’s Steve.

“D’ya mind, Stevie?”

“Jesus, n- not at all, Buck.”

Bucky has never done this before, but he’d thought about it many times after he thought he was leaving Steve behind in Brooklyn.

Once he gets his mouth around Steve it’s like he’s always known exactly what he should be doing. He sucks for a brief time before pulling off.

“Mmm,” he hums, licking his lips, “you taste good, doll. Better than I could’ve ever imagined.”

Bucky goes back down on him, swirling his tongue around Steve’s shaft before pulling it back to tease experimentally at the slit. He hears the way Steve hisses and feels him shy away the slightest bit at the sensation.

“You… you don’t gotta keep doin’ that if you don’t want to.” He says with shaky breath.

Bucky smirks and sucks hard, getting his fist around what he can’t fit into his mouth and stroking Steve softly.

“That’s… jesus, Buck, that’s good. That’s good. Just don’t…I don’t wanna… please don’t make me… not yet.”

Steve’s face is flushed and his eyes are wide and glossy, bright and crystal blue. His dark eyelashes fanning around them and making them look even brighter.

“Alright, baby, alright. I won’t tease. Then let’s start getting you opened up, Stevie. Gotta get you nice and wet like a girl so I can slide right into ya.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, Buck, whatever you say.”

He strips quickly and then picks the jelly up off the cot and swipes two fingers into it, pulling out a gratuitous amount. He doesn’t dare run the risk of hurting Steve. He rubs his thumb over the pads of the fingers, smearing the jelly just a bit more. He doesn’t miss the way Steve gasps as he watches.

“Alright, Steve, hopefully this won’t hurt too much. It’s gonna feel a little weird, and it’ll be cold, but you’ll get used to it. Just… stay relaxed for me.” He doesn’t really know what else to say right now. This is still just as new to him as it is for Steve. But Bucky at least has some sexual experience in his past, so he can keep it together and do this for Steve. He can figure this out and make this good. He _will_ make this good.

One hand finds its way to Steve’s thigh, holding it down gently and Steve breathes a sigh of relief. His other hand begins to smear the jelly over Steve’s rim, and the blond cringes away just a bit.

“It’s okay, Steve. I’m just softening you up some. I’ll let you know before I push inside you, I promise.” The thought alone of being inside Steve makes Bucky shiver, and he focuses on Steve’s rim again, getting harder by the second and praying that he doesn’t go off too early.

He continues to smear the jelly until Steve’s rim is pink and twitching. Bucky subconsciously licks his lips.

“Oh, doll. You should see yourself.”

Bucky looks up, but Steve’s eyes are squeezed shut and his shoulders are hunched up near his ears. He knows this look anywhere. Steve is embarrassed. And Bucky knows him well enough after nearly twenty years to know that the best thing for Steve is to keep going. Nothing on Steve ever gets injured quite as much as his pride, and he knows Steve would be mortified if they stopped now.

“Alright, Steve. I’m gonna put a finger in now. You ready?”

Steve bites his lip and shakes his head.

The first finger goes in smooth as butter, and Bucky watches in awe. Steve’s hole is so pink and so warm. His cock gives an envious throb.

His finger wiggles around just the tiniest increments, hooking here and there as if Steve were a girl, as if he were trying to find his-

“Ah! What was that?!” Steve asks with a jerk, panting heavily.

Bucky smiles filthily. Looks like he might know what he’s doing after all.

“That’s your sweet spot, baby. Dames got ‘em, too. Makes you feel real good, huh?”

“Can you… can you do it again?”

Bucky chuckles and does as Steve asks. He only strokes maybe a handful of times more before Steve is begging for more fingers.

“Please, Buck. Just put all three of them in. I can take it. I swear I can. It’ll hurt for only a second and then I’ll heal right up. Like I never felt a thing. Just… please. I can’t take much more. No more teasin’ me. It’s been so long since we… and I want… I want _you_.”

“Shh. Okay, okay, Steve. Just relax, baby. I’ll take care of you. I just wanna be careful with you. I’m wanna do this right, doll. I wanna be so good to you.”

Steve’s eyes shimmer with emotion as he stares at Bucky lovingly.

“I know you do, Buck. Always are.”

Bucky kisses his hip and watches with joy as Steve’s eyelids flutter. It’s distraction enough that he continues to do it as he slides all three of his three slick fingers into Steve’s tight entrance. He makes the tiniest sound of discomfort, but it’s enough for Bucky to catch.

“You okay, baby?”

“I’m good, Buck. I swear. Can you do that thing you did before?”

“You mean this?” Bucky crooks his fingers with a smirk as he brushes Steve’s prostate again.

Steve’s mouth falls open on a silent moan so Bucky continues until Steve can no longer stand it.

“Bucky! Bucky, please! I just wanna feel you. Please, Buck. I just wanna feel you in me.”

“Alright, doll. Okay. Just give me one minute.”

Bucky pulls his fingers free of Steve’s body and scoops out another heaping amount of jelly, coating his dick entirely.

It’s been too long since he last kissed Steve, even if it was only a few minutes ago, and he drapes himself over Steve’s body and kisses him sweetly, trying to relay comfort and love.

“I love you, Steve.” He whispers against Steve’s lips.

“I love you, too, James Buchanan Barnes.” Steve replies with a stunning smile.

Bucky kisses Steve again, deep and passionate and takes advantage of the diversion to slide into Steve’s body in one slow push.

“Bucky!” Steve cries. He quickly remembers their dire need to stay quiet and bites his lip.

This is nothing close to how Bucky envisioned their first time would be. He wanted to romance Steve. To prove to him how much he loves him and make it special for him. He didn’t let himself fantasize often, thinking it to be too unrealistic and destructive to dwell on for very long, but when he did, he wanted everything to be perfect. He wanted to lavish Steve with kisses. Make love by candle light. Slow and gentle, dragged out for hours. Worshipping every inch of Steve’s body.

He certainly didn’t imagine a tent, surrounded by thousands of strangers he doesn’t know, after just having been rescued after enduring months of torture. But he’ll take what he can get. He loves Steve and that’s all that matters. He can give Steve what he wants and prove how much he loves him. Even if it can’t be as special as Steve deserves.

Bucky presses a kiss to Steve’s cheek, his jaw, and then his lips, trying his best to soothe him.

“You just tell me if you need to stop, Steve. Don’t let me hurt you just because you’re determined to stick this out.”

“I’m alright, Bucky. I swear. Please don’t stop.”

He kisses Steve again, because he loves him and because he can and because he can still make this good for Steve. Regardless of their location or circumstances.

Bucky moves his hips in slow, shallow thrusts, nothing that puts a strain on Steve when he’s still adjusting to the sensations. This is still new to him. So he keeps a steady rhythm as best he can, but the tightness and heat of Steve’s body is nearly excruciating and he wavers on occasion. His arms quake with the strain of trying to hold back, so he lays bodily atop Steve, fisting the threadbare army issued sheets next to Steve’s head, his face buried in Steve’s neck where he’s breathing in tight, controlled breaths, the scent of Steve’s sweat making his head swim.

“You doin’ alright, Stevie doll?” Bucky asks between clenched teeth and then places a kiss on Steve’s pulse.

“I’m fine, Buck. Oh, I’m so much better than fine. God, you feel so big. I feel stuffed so full of you.”

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut and tries not to blow then and there. He knows Steve isn’t saying this to be dirty, or make Bucky hot. He’s not trying to flatter Bucky. He probably doesn’t even know what he’s saying. He’s Steve and he’s just being honest.

“Jesus Christ, Steve. You can’t say things like that to me, baby. Unless you want me to spill inside you right now.”

“I do. I want it, Buck. I want it so bad. I wanna feel you in me.”

Bucky bites down on the soft skin below Steve’s ear and feels him buck against him. He can’t hold back anymore. He’s past his limit and now he needs to take what he needs.

It takes a bit of convincing his muscles, but Bucky eventually gets himself back up to his forearms again. He slides one hand down Steve’s chest, his profound abdominal muscles, a sharp hip bone, and around the back of a thigh and hitches it up onto his hip to wrap around the back of his own thigh.

“Can you take more, sweetheart? Can you take everything I wanna give ya? You’ve been so good. You ready for me to take you hard and fill you up?” Bucky breathes against his neck before biting down roughly again.

“Yes, yes, god, please! Bucky, please!”

Bucky squeezes his thigh and gives Steve a downright dirty kiss on the lips before he starts picking up his pace. His hips pump quick and harsh in chase of his release. He didn’t know sex could ever feel this good. Maybe it doesn’t always. Maybe it’s just because it’s Steve and nothing with Steve could ever be bad. All he knows is that the handful of dames he went all the way with never felt anything like this.

He can hear Steve gulping in air, gentle sighs and moans spilling from his lips now and then. He calls Bucky’s name and mutters something that sounds like “more.” And through Bucky’s haze, his instincts to care for Steve take over.

He gives Steve’s leg another mean squeeze, and Steve thankfully gets the message to wrap his other leg around Bucky so that he can drive deeper inside him.

The shift in their position gives them a completely new angle.

“Oh, Bucky, harder. _Please_. So close. So good.”

Bucky worries for a moment about hurting Steve, but this is Steve’s new body, and the cuts and bruises that he’d managed to acquire earlier while rescuing the troops have already healed. He knows Steve can take it.

So he thrusts with everything he’s got. His hips snapping into Steve with brutal ferocity. He bends his neck down just a bit so that he can kiss Steve again, his hand not currently clutching Steve’s leg unclenches the sheets and grips Steve’s still impressively small waist. He take a brief moment to himself to mourn the time when both of his hands nearly spanned the width of Steve.

He can’t get enough of the taste of Steve’s lips, the feel of his body, the heat of his insides. He’s becoming desperate. Hips losing rhythm, but not dwindling in speed. He can feel the sweat roll down his nape, back and temples. The chill in the air is starting to do nothing for the fire burning beneath his skin. He needs to come, but he needs to make sure Steve does first.

He pulls his mouth away from Steve’s lips to kiss his jaw.

“You close, baby?”

“Yeah. Yeah, Buck. Just a little more. Please.”

And at that Bucky releases his grip on Steve’s leg and wraps a callused hand around Steve’s weeping cock. Steve shouts and nearly head butts him.

“Bucky! Bucky! Oh god! Christ, I love you, Buck! I love you so much!”

Bucky presses his lips back to Steve’s to quiet him and drives into Steve with everything he has left, the tip of his dick brushing that smooth pleasure spot inside of Steve, and then he gives a muffled scream against Bucky’s mouth and shoots all over Bucky’s hand and his own stomach. One leg falls limply from around Bucky’s hips.

His body squeezes around Bucky as he comes and it’s like nothing Bucky has ever felt. So tight and perfect and _right_. It’s like heaven. Bucky’s hand slides from Steve’s waist to the opposite leg he’d been squeezing before, trying to keep himself rooted in Steve and the angle just right. It only takes half a dozen thrusts before he shoots off inside Steve, filling him up with warm seed. He remembers at the last minute that he needs to keep it down, and bites Steve’s collarbone probably too hard as he continues to gently jerk Steve off. It’s so good and he _just keeps coming._

He only just keeps from collapsing on Steve altogether, and gently lowers himself to rest against Steve’s body. He takes his clean hand and cups Steve’s jaw, giving him a soothing kiss. He has to abandon the kiss after only a few seconds in order to try to gulp down more air. And so they lie there, panting into each other’s mouths as they catch their breath, eyes open and staring into each other’s hazily but lovingly, Bucky’s dirty hand still between them and resting against Steve’s soft cock.

“God, Buck. That was amazing. I can’t believe we waited so long to do that.” Steve remarks once he’s mostly caught his breath.

Bucky laughs and says, “Yeah. I know, pal. It felt so fucking incredible to be inside you. Jesus, look at you, Stevie. All flushed and satisfied. You’re so gorgeous, doll.”

He nuzzles against Steve’s cheek and kisses it once. Sliding off of Steve, he lays on his side so as not to roll off the bed but so he can still be pressed right against Steve’s body. Steve gets up and uses his small shower towel to clean himself, coming to Bucky’s side to wipe his hand. He tosses the towel to the floor and then quickly climbs back into bed, curling up against Bucky’s chest. Bucky wraps an arm around his back and kisses his forehead.

“I missed you so much, baby. I’m so glad you found me in that warehouse. You were the only thing keeping me alive in that hell hole. Every time they stuck with me something, or shocked me or beat me, it was your smile that kept me going.”

Steve tilts his head and places a kiss over Bucky’s Adam’s apple.

“I love you, Buck.”

“I love you, too, Steve.”

They lay like that for a while. Enjoying the security of each other’s arms until it’s almost dark outside and the light from the lanterns around the camp bleeds into their tent.

“We should probably get dressed, baby.” Bucky points out.

Steve doesn’t move, but Bucky knows he’s awake.

“Come on, Steve, up. Don’t want you catchin’ a cold again.”

Steve laughs but sits up.

“Not sure I even can anymore.”

They dress silently, but it isn’t uncomfortable. This is how things were always meant to be between them. Maybe not here in Europe, and maybe not now during the war, but it doesn’t make it feel any less right.

Bucky watches as Steve pulls on his socks and sits on their makeshift bed and smiles at the blond. Steve is watching him, too. Bucky hesitates only a second before he pulls his dog tags off from around his neck. He kneels on the floor in front of Steve, his eyes seeking bright crystal blue. He lifts one of Steve’s hands and turns it over, palm up, and places his dog tags right in the middle of Steve’s hand, curling the talented, graceful artist fingers over them.

Steve looks a little surprised, but mostly he just looks happy.

“Buck, are you sure you want me to have these? Everyone’ll know what’s goin’ on between us. There’ll be no hiding it from now on.”

“Don’t give a damn either way. I want you to have them. I’m yours, Stevie. I’ve always been yours. Now everyone else will know it, too.”

Bucky is happy. For the first time in he doesn’t even know how long, he is truly happy.

\---

It’s a cold, cold winter as they look for HYDRA bases. But Steve keeps warm with Bucky by his side. They make plenty of headway with The Commandos in taking out HYDRA forces and Steve finally feels like he’s doing what he’s supposed to with his life.

He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised at the way he and Bucky work so well together on the battlefield. They move like a machine; cogs turning and meshing. They fight like they’ve been doing it together their whole lives. Steve moves, Bucky follows. Steve jumps and Bucky is right there. He may be battling dangerous men, but he’s never felt so safe in his life. Especially with the feel of Bucky’s skin warmed dog tags around his neck.

Months go by and they’ve almost closed in on all of HYDRA’s troops. They just had one last mission before taking down the whole operation.

The plan was to raid the train. Same task they’ve carried out a million times before in a million different locations. They had to bring back the scientist. Zola. He was their last mission before going after Red Skull directly.

Getting on board is easy enough. He and Bucky move through the train, and it’s too quiet. The tense sort of quiet before all hell breaks loose. But once again, they manage just fine and he rescues Bucky from the brief impromptu firefight. He’s so relieved that he got to Bucky in time that he doesn’t even notice when the man in the metal contraption walks in. He pushes Bucky behind him and raises his shield for all the good it does him. It rips the wall off the train and ricochets him to the opposite side of the car. Bucky picks up the shield and takes a shot, but it’s useless and he’s blasted backwards. Steve loses visual once Bucky slips outside the car and immediately grabs his shield, hurling it towards the man in the contraption and effectively taking him out.

Steve tries. He tries with everything he has. He reaches and begs Bucky to hold on. He prays silently just for them to get safely back on board. And none of it is enough. He watches as Bucky plummets to the ground, out of sight as the train hurdles on at ungodly speeds. He wants to throw up. He wants to jump right now and spend as long as it takes to find the love of his life that he loses all hope of finding with every mile more that the train travels. It takes every ounce of strength to climb back into the train car and not simply release the broken bar Bucky had just been clinging to only seconds before.

He doesn’t feel any safer inside the car, now. The train wrenches him around and he doesn’t fight it, falling to his knees. He can feel the dog tags tremble against his skin beneath his uniform. The wind is freezing on his cheeks, but he doesn’t even notice. Doesn’t notice when Jones comes for him once he’s stopped the train. He doesn’t hear it when he’s told that Zola is tied up and is being held in the next car over. He doesn’t feel the hand on his arm that pulls him to his feet. He’s not sure he’ll ever really feel anything again. It isn’t possible. There will always be a piece of who he is that will be missing now. He will never truly be Steve Rogers again.

His body aches. His head feels heavy. His eyes burn. His spirit is broken. And his chest feels empty. His heart having just been ripped from his chest, now gone, lost forever and lying forgotten and lifeless somewhere in the snow.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope this didn't make you guys too sad.


End file.
